Shadow of A Doubt
Confession
From Pre-K to High School
I used to sleep with a nightlight
When midnight made rounds
‘Round radius of our half of hemisphere
Relieving day light from day job
And all familiar voices of household
Ceased communication
To dwell deeply in dusk’s duration
The pitch black presence would peak paranoia
That’d handicap body like a corpse constricted to tightest casket
Heart stilled to stone with every echo ears picked up
That’d make eyes sweat
From pacing back and forth doing suicides drills from lash to lash
Quick dash to flash seen sitting in corner surface of lids
Leaving court of cornea after winning this game of hide and seek
That shook my soul like abandoned sneakers bouncing between heavy earthquakes
That illuminating fixture fixed to wall
Always alleviated the weight brought by heavy darkness
Its glow let me know secrets that slumber time kept concealed
Uncertainty wasn’t a word while bulb stayed bright
Turning fear from a trap for bears to a mouse’s snare
Though i’ve outgrown them wall plants
I’ve never learned how to uproot doubt
I walk through valleys
Overcasted by silhouettes belonging to something sinister
Losing hours worth of lifespan
I physically progress
Mentally digress
Emotionally build stress
Spiritually feel less
‘Cause I worry ‘bout what’s next
Or what may not be
Like I started college well
But what if I fail to get degree?
Like my interview felt great
But what if employer don’t agree?
Like my relationship is good now
But what if later it won’t be?
Everything seems so fly
But what if later she goes flee?
I’ve been neglected many times
People be bound to just leave me
And i’m scared
Terrified of not knowing what’s next in
Chapter, ‘cause some stories end depressin’
I wish light would set in ‘cause darkness makes me skeptic
The only thing that’s bright is the emergency exit
I’m tempted to take it
Save my heart the rejection
As if pains a pistol
Popping chest bringing death
But that’s just dark’s deception
That all unseen must mean
Climax to terrible cut scene
To destinations we want “A” or “B”
No sitting in between
Desiring ambiguity shaved off
Cut clean
But that severs sanctity of trust
Acknowledging Spirit’s wind
Goes all directions when it gusts
We cannot control it, yet we should never loathe it
I used to sleep with a nightlight
And sometimes I still desire things done in dark be brought to light
But those who prevail travel blind, without reliance on sight
Darkness has been more greater of an advocate than I could ever recognize
Allowing present to be a present
And all uncertainty be a surprise
Without a shadow of a doubt
Posted 06/14/18