Carrie Padian

Time Travel

Hi it’s me

Carrie from the future

What these neon pants?

We all wear them nowadays

What do you think?

I remember this kitchen

Yellow zig zag wallpaper

Harvest gold appliances

Like living inside an egg yolk you once said

Remember that?

You’re looking kind of down

On this Saturday morning

It is the weekend after all

In that white t-shirt

The one with the snag in it

And that grease stain

Did that just happen today? 

It looks so fresh

I had forgotten it entirely

Most of the clothes really

Were a little forgettable

Regrettable

You know what I mean

Did he do it yet?

From the look on your face I bet he did

Just now

Before I popped in

You’ve got that trying not to cry thing

Going on

It’s okay if you want to cry

We cry all the time in the future

One of the beauties of being an adult

Nobody tells you to stop crying

They just back away slowly

Did he hurt you?

I only ask because nobody ever asked me

Did it hurt when he said

You were garbage?

When he grabbed your loose

Belly skin in his fist and shook it?

When he told you

None of the boys would ever 

Love you because of this

This soft, inexorable part of you?

No I know it did

I remember

If I’m being honest that’s why I’m here

That and I just missed you

You were always my favorite

Anyway here I am

I have a message for you in my bag

A message from the future

Let me find it

Wait

Okay here it is

It says

Fuck

The boys