Here Caesar blew his nose; here Caesar coughed and cursed.
Here Caesar bought silk robes; here Caesar yowled and nursed.
Here Caesar slapped a whore, then paid her double wage.
Here Caesar snoozed and snored, and here he kept a cage
For dissidents. Here Caesar called himself the sun
Enlightening humanity, the one
Anointed to deliver peace, and there he warred
For decades, never winning. Here is Caesar’s sword,
And here is Caesar’s scarlet shield with golden boss.
Here Caesar cheered for gladiators; there he’d toss
A foe from island mount to razor reefs
Below. Here Caesar ordered twenty rebel chiefs
To march, parade to Caesar’s marble arch, and here
Great Caesar smacked his wife and hollered at her “Whore!”
Here Caesar paved stone roads near slaves’ and soldiers’ sides,
And there he opened hospital and offered kiddies rides
On Spear, great Caesar’s favorite trotting mare.
Here Caesar sang a verse of love, and there
He kissed a statue of his missing wife.
Here Caesar entertained his guests, took knife
To carve a pig and goat and point at drunken men
Whose wives he’d covet. Here is Caesar’s den
And there his bedroom. Here the slaves would sleep
And there in purple marble room he’d keep
His favorite dog (whom Caesar gave a golden crown—
He’d named him consul of a Gallic town).
And here, here Caesar celebrated world-wide fame
And stabbed a dissident (no one knows his name).