upon the christening of M.
deliver us blue. sapphires and other stones try. hold us frequently together. (keeping my place.) and the circles of imaginary hell singe the hem of my imaginary garment. camel hair skirt (maybe). like a crown of enraged, upside down laurels. (a sin changes everything.)
break my best. toes not unkempt but still ravaged. he asked me if I. do you still believe ontologically in symbols or priests? or, the heavy weight of embroidery on vestments. I did think, the solidity of blue. doled out notebooks and chanceries. and later, when he left.
then, my apple rose face. first Eucharist. hands folded, cream dress, little bride. the priest in long white. I belong is real bread. Jesus Jesus. and when I first taste him, he goes down like damp wafer. is damp wafer, flesh, bread of life, wafer, flesh.
the new pope. the old pope. the dead pope (three caskets, one lead). the pope whose relative was in the fish business. the apocryphal female pope. the Borgia pope. the pope with male children.
my doubt is my bib. narrative strikes beryl. beryl deal, this Fascist Italy and what. this Vatican will rise, luminescant, bright opal. city-state condescending to Fascism in Italy. separate from Italy. (hierarchy supports hierarchy.) men in vestments and magisterial. God on earth.
I had rather be blue. blue doubt as blue, the reflection of sky. lake sky blue sheen. (I don't halt doubt, I wait.) blue waiting, blue doubting. gray-blue veins of doubt. heart of doubt. gold heart of doubt.
dribbled clear water, mark of sin. white lace baptismal gown. (the nephew–the little, unsinning baby boy.) tradition allowing. (creating Limbo, then abolishing.) Limbo Limbo Limbo. baby arms and legs like dolls, dolls that blink and pee.
love the baby, good smell. crown of baby head, no sin here. (to scrape off tradition with enough love.) (to offer an example of doubt without insistence.) children, your aunt. loves and doubts. (my doubt is my burnt sage, my basil.) and I wait blue in the coach, just in case. wear my blue dress, blue silk slippers.