The Man I Am Today
Computers are pencils you don’t need to sharpen.
Currency was invented by an old man with a trampoline for a beard.
When I walk to the end of a diving board
and there is a ghost tottering on the precipice
the first thought that comes to my mind is a quiver
a quiver full of arrows that are made out of corn
because everything is made out of corn nowadays
even old bags. One time I put a rubber pellet up my nose
and I thought to myself,
I have just put a small, rubber bullet into my nose
and I ran out into the hallway
where my mother was sweeping away my father’s debts
with a feather. I thought,
mom has lost her shit. It was a dirty feather.
If my hand was a comb in one of those blue, Barbicide jars
barbers keep on their barber desks
that would be really fucked up.
I would probably not be the man I am today.