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Recycling Only

I wrote you a ticket
for having a baby
and polluting the world
with your seed.
Did you think about how many carbon emissions that thing would give off?
I wrote you a ticket
for owning a dog
though it’s half the price
of your baby ticket
because dogs will know how to survive after the apocalypse.
I wrote you a ticket
for being a child
and told everyone
not to give you candy
because your existence implies a belief in the future.
You will receive a stipend
for being old
and arranging your funeral
yourself ahead of time
because you won’t be around much longer like a good sport.
You will receive a stipend
for smoking at the park,
especially for smoking next to people who look healthy and happy
because you slowly fix them.
Posted 03/21/11
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