When Piggy squeals,
No, Kermie, no! No, no, no, no!
she does not mean, Why rescue me?
Save you! I’m just an actress-model!
Many little girls heard this at first,
for it was 1979, and then it was the 80s,
and then it was the 90s.
And face it, we’d only just met
Miss Piggy, a beauty queen
who sees a little green man,
balloons into musical interlude,
and then she gets into his car!
What the what?!? Yet now that they’re bound
and there’s no plan at all, and everyone’s trying
to take her man’s brains, she addresses them,
Love and her enemies both, with, HI-YAH!
I AM PIGGY, PINK SOUL, FLESH MANTRA TRIUMPHANT,
BLONDE DAWN. YES, MOI. AND NO MAN
SHALL DEFEAT ME. AND YOU,
DEAR GELATINOUS HEART, STAND IN MY WAY.