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AND FOR THAT WHICH I CAN NEITHER ACCEPT NOR CONTROL, GRANT ME MISS PIGGY ENERGY

When Piggy squeals, 

No, Kermie, no! No, no, no, no! 

she does not mean, Why rescue me? 

Save you! I’m just an actress-model!


Many little girls heard this at first, 

for it was 1979, and then it was the 80s, 

and then it was the 90s.

And face it, we’d only just met 


Miss Piggy, a beauty queen 

who sees a little green man, 

balloons into musical interlude, 

and then she gets into his car! 


What the what?!? Yet now that they’re bound

and there’s no plan at all, and everyone’s trying 

to take her man’s brains, she addresses them,

Love and her enemies both, with, HI-YAH! 


I AM PIGGY, PINK SOUL, FLESH MANTRA TRIUMPHANT, 

BLONDE DAWN. YES, MOI. AND NO MAN 

SHALL DEFEAT ME. AND YOU, 

DEAR GELATINOUS HEART, STAND IN MY WAY.

Posted 04/30/21
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