A BASIC GUIDE TO AUTOBIOGRAPHY
1. There is a lot of room in my mouth.
2. I want to be more confused.
3. I want to put up some wallpaper and do a little singing.
4. Little to no time will be spent considering the role of heavy weaponry.
5. Quinoa pillow.
6. I am patient, like a duck.
7. Many times I have eaten ducks not having considered if I should ask them how they feel about it.
8. I love some people.
9. I have tried to love some people.
10. I have tried to not love some people.
11. I cried, in the restaurant, with the war, and the waitress.
12. Sometimes I feel so close to strawberries.
13. Then it’s gone.
14. Then it’s not.
15. Driving alone is often an occasion to contemplate freedom.
16. Bird nest built with bottle rockets.
17. Stop making so much quiet.
18. Sunflower on the overpass.
19. On Sundays, I feel most in debt.
20. Don’t lick that.
21. Too much cake to feel comfortable.
22. I would like to do more with chainsaws.
23. I would like to do a lot more with chainsaws.
24. I’ve got a few questions.
25. Where is my mother?
26. A Basic Guide to Suffering.
27. That’s not an armchair. It’s a bear.
28. I’m worried my cat doesn’t dream about me.
29. Happy Birthday!
30. Anything beautiful will save you.
31. I am snow.
32. I am Tuesday.
33. I am the Constitution of Finland.
34. I must have been sleeping for a very long time.
35. There are oranges in my eaves.
36. I only vote out of guilt.
37. I’m not going to pay for this.
38. There is an owl in the bathtub.
40. Don’t talk to me.
41. Peppermint temperament.
42. I have been cruel, and crueler.
43. I have oil reserves and I want to share.
44. I am full of bones.
45. I might want to have sex with you.
46. Experts say this is where I should /
47. A good thing to do would be to have fun.
48. New new new new new new sincerity.
49. After I threw the parts out the window it was easier to use them as I saw fit.
50. Consider the streets of Bruges.
51. The babysitter’s bra is blue.
52. I have a really big huzza.
53. I can’t feel my fingers.
54. You might want to close the blinds for this.
55. I’m a big fan.
56. My name is Nick and I’ll be taking your order.
75. From Sartre, The Imaginary, “[Y]ou will not necessarily grasp at a glance the sense of each line, but you will in any case know of each one that it is representative, that it stands for something and that this is the very reason for its existence.”
58. In Sweden the red balloon the red balloon.
59. Flaw machine.
61. Once, I took a look inside.
62. It’s a secret.
63. I am a fire hazard.
64. Shall I larkspur you?
65. “How necessary you are to me and how precious.” – Robert Desnos
66. Choosing the right weed whacker.
67. That’s my coat.
68. No, the rules are not clear.
69. Blogs are the most essential new form of communication.
70. Animal sweater.
71. She had thrown her grammar out of some nice red apples.
72. What I learned at school.
73. What I learned in the rain.
74. What I learned with my tongue.
57. Cell phone radiation is dangerous.
76. Neighbors are more dangerous.
77. I went to the store to be around other people and came home with a stone swan in the passenger seat.
78. There is a beehive in the air conditioning.
79. In Paris I fed a one-footed pigeon olives. I had an incredible headache.
80. Sartre, The Imaginary, “But the dream world is not so closed that the dreamer does not come to play a role in it.”
81. Sartre, The Imaginary, “It is simply necessary that the imagery of the dreamer produces an unspecified object that the dreamer can believe, whether immediately or after some time, is themselves, whatever else that object may be.”
82. The lawnmower on the Lawn of the Self.
83. Once, I was a waterfall.
84. How wonderful to know nothing!
85. Dark and full of horses.
86. Contrary to popular belief what you don’t know will hurt you.
87. There is a dead zone the size of Rhode Island.
88. All movements are immediate assessments of speed and direction.
89. The most honest part of the symphony is the tuning.
90. I ordered the buffet at the Mean Mollusk.
91. “My plan, as it stands, is to learn how to ski.” – Joshua Beckman
92. The future is a bowl of blood.
93. At the moment we really only have a vague insight.
94. Why am I lying?
95. Why am I hanging from this traffic light?
96. Most of it will go in the trash.
97. Butter to be bewildered.
98. It difficult to be fatal amongst cupcakes.
99. Here is a cupcake.
100. The hummingbird in my heart says hello.