#106LinesOnBlacknessForWhitePoetsAndPolicemen
I love and regret the color red
I want to know how you got that scar
Both of my parents are blue eyed
I worked as a housekeeper at 14
I never wanted blonde hair
My first accomplishment was controlling my rage
I learned to use chopsticks from the Hare Krishnas
I’m allergic to grass
I’m allergic to cats
I often wake from a deep sleep unable to breathe
I’ve always taken Ophelia personally
My first black boyfriend had perfect SAT scores
My first white boyfriend killed the girl he dated after me
My favorite kind of pie is blueberry pie
My second favorite pie is sweet potato pie
I learned to make sweet potato pie from Martha Stewart
I learned to make blueberry pie after tripping all night in the woods
The first person to call me nigger beat the hell out of me
when I was 6
Until someone beat the hell out of me, I’d never heard the word nigger
After I heard the word nigger, I tried to push my little sister out of a window.
I love greens
I love tofu
I love cornbread
I never wanted blue eyes
I narrowly avoided being homecoming queen
I was the only black girl in my high school
My father loved me
My mother loved me
I am prone to panic attacks in theaters
Three years after Billy Joe failed to seduce me, I seduced him
I don’t regret using men for sex
In 10th grade I fell in love with Lord Byron’s clubfoot
I wanted to be Lisa Bonet, not Denise
There is a certain color of blue that I see as green
When I hear Walk This Way, I want to play pool
My first car was a Ford Maverick with no reverse
I never heard a song that used my name
A man from Bhutan renamed me “Apple”
I had cancer first at 15
I used to say cock but now I say dick
My first white girlfriend built her own bed
A man from Bhutan renamed me “Big Baby”
I decided to have only black boyfriends
I appreciate dread locks on white people
When I think of my grandmother, I think of funnel cakes
My mother put out New Year’s antipasto and polish sausage
A man from Bhutan renamed me “Buddha”
I stopped relaxing my hair in 1994
I don’t know a single song by LL Cool J
I am averse to the artic tundra
I sometimes speak to Gertrude Stein
I moved to the desert so I could breathe
I don’t like honey or bees
I got my first tattoo at 37
I fell in love with Balzac’s lies and desperation
My first college boyfriend looked like a skinny Viking
I discovered the desert could not help me breathe
Sometimes, glass breaks, spontaneously, around me
At 5, I remembered a boy in a red shirt from my last life
At 6, I had a premonition that came true
My first college boyfriend looked like a red-haired Jesus
I taught my poodle to shut the door
I hate to take off my shoes in other people’s homes
I am not afraid of you
I love corn bread
I tasted corn bread first at 15
From the moment of my birth I have struggled to breathe
I was named for a dutiful daughter
I have anxiety when someone gives me a gift
I obsess over the meanings of numbers
My first white husband hated my cooking
My first black husband could care less about my cooking
I worry about running out of time
I’ve had insomnia since I was 7
I often wake from a deep sleep unable to breathe
In my periphery, glass shatters inexplicably
I’ve never cheated on anyone
At 18, I hitchhiked to the wrong polls and missed the presidential election
I wish I had darker skin
Driving frightens me
I’ve never met a celebrity
I could take you in a fight
My white mother sang like Diana Ross
I’m a good shot
I tell my poodle he is my best friend when no one’s around
I always look behind me
If you listen, you can hear me struggle to breathe
I think Ezra Pound was a thief
I splurge on cut flowers
I braided my hair to be less ambiguous
My mother-in-law offered me money to leave
I am not fond of socks
If not Lauryn Hill, then Mary J.
In our mediation, she said, it’s not about race, it’s about aesthetics
I have given up camping
I eat French fries with vinegar in the summer
My daughter is white and confused
I am still concerned about my soul
I often wake from a deep sleep unable to breathe
I like all things orange
I’m terrified the world will go on without me
I’ve had nightmares of being lynched
I’ve had nightmares of the room spinning me out of a funnel
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