[A young woman has spent the last few years]
A young woman has spent the last few years in a verbally and psychologically abusive relationship. As with many abusive relationships, certain key markers are present: the couple routinely “ends” and then restarts their association; the sole or primary abuser repeatedly promises he will change his behavior; such promises rarely last for more than a day; and words of hatred are shared between the parties, which words open wounds that can never be healed.
This particular young woman has had it especially hard in recent months. Her boyfriend, Jake, now habitually abandons her for weeks at a time, only to outrageously claim, upon his return, that she’s crowding him and he “needs more space.” His fiercely delivered promises to cease all forms of abuse are typically discarded in a matter of hours. When his girlfriend musters the courage to leave him—though courage, or lack of courage, is not really the issue here, nor is it in any instance of chronic domestic abuse—he calls her incessantly, at inappropriate hours, to secure her forgiveness. He even shows up at her apartment unannounced and angrily demands entry. During such periods of conflict he speaks ill of her (privately, of course!) to his closest friends, even as he hounds her friends into running messages on his behalf.
If one had no
understanding of how abusive relationships are initiated and maintained, one
might wonder why or how this young woman ever came to love this man. Certainly,
her public descriptions of his conduct are unyieldingly negative, suggesting that, as
to this years-long relationship, the bloom came off the rose almost
immediately. In fact, it seems unlikely the couple shared more than a single
happy day or two. Here’s just one example of the kind of shit Jake makes her
put up with: One of Jake’s favorite forms of abuse is to pick fights with her
just to see her cry. Once he knows he’s ruined her night—that is, once he’s
gotten her to scream “I’m right!” on an issue he never even cared about
in the first place—he leaves her apartment and goes off to listen to music or
do something else he enjoys. Sometimes he even goes off to fuck other women!
(Not that she knew this while it was happening.) Jake is such a
piece of work that he even habitually derides his girlfriend’s taste in music,
insisting, as if this could possibly matter, that his sizable indie-label record
collection is somehow categorically better than hers.
Jake, friends, is a
jerkwad. No amount of public humiliation is too much for this world-class
shit-stain, a fact his girlfriend now muses about on the regular—not that we can blame
The young woman we’re discussing was once a romantic soul, the sort of person who believes she can make any relationship work with enough time and attention—and who, when a relationship falters and breaks apart, tells her friends, “Never say never!” (By this she means, “Jake and I might still be meant for each other!”) But after many months of putting up with Jake’s abuse, she discovers (thank god!) that she no longer loves Jake, and that his continued protestations (“I still love you!”) are merely a grotesque ventriloquism of genuine affection. Jake is scarcely more than a limp-dick twittlefuck, really; to suppose him capable of earnest emotion strains credulity. And so it is that she realizes, finally, that she should’ve never dated Jake to begin with, and that wasting even a single additional breath speaking of him diminishes her growing sense that her future is much, much brighter than either her past or her present.
Still, there’s always
time for one last “fuck you” to an abusive jerk who’s long had it coming. Here’s
hoping this creepy little monster finally gets the message and shoots himself in the face.
Do the world a favor, Jake!
Hit it! –> http://vimeo.com/48640828.