Steven D. Schroeder

I’ve Had a Perfectly Wonderful Evening

If by evening you mean overflowing crockpot

If by perfectly wonderful you mean the same way a cage could be beautiful viewed from a skewed perspective

If by uncle you mean never trust a government that bugs your underwear with microscopic microphones

But another uncle is how did the leper cannibal die

And one uncle is actually aunt

When you say gather surely it’s row the goat across the river, then return for the fox or the box of lettuce

Porch is short for ashtray

That old standby college stands for community college and community is code for clown or maybe bartending

Take I told you I’d bake a cake as I’ll be back in the car for an hour

The name Celeste is French for Goddamn

God equals party does not equal partay

If by house you mean wife

If by again you mean to death or next month