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Sturgeon’s Law

90 percent of everything is crap

Work expands to fill the time available

Whatever can go wrong will

A septic tank is overflowing in the basement

 

Over 55 percent of suicides nationwide occur by firearm

Females attempt suicide three times more than males

Males complete suicide five times as often

Men are handier with guns and other tools

 

15 percent of professionals admit fibbing on their résumés

Costs cannot be cut by more than 100 percent

When asking a man his prowess, divide by three

The United States is outsourcing sex to an offshore location

 

Drowning accounts for 4 percent of American casualties in Iraq

Children shouldn’t swim for an hour after eating

If a shark stops swimming, it can suffocate

Eventually the world will warm enough to steam off all the water

 

People use only 2 percent of their brains

The above is just one of many lies

The President can bend spoons with his mind

90 percent of everything is crap

Posted 03/15/21
Published in Torched Verse Ends (2009).
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