120 Readings

The Selected Journals of [xx]

4 Jan 2021

While masturbating this morning, I thought about that Kevin Spacey movie American Beauty.  It was universally praised but somehow I feel it was still profoundly underrated.  I have the torrent on one of my flash drives.  The one marked “Film #3.”  It’s in the drawer on the left, beneath the bible with torn out pages.  They started rationing paper so I blow my nose into bible pages now.  Seems appropriate anyway.

There were less planes in the sky today.  I actually went for a short walk.

Good day.  Never look down.


8 Mar 2021

While masturbating this morning, I thought about that Woody Allen movie Crimes & Misdemeanors.  Got me thinking: what the hell is morality, anyway?  What a fucking joke.

I don’t know why I even write these.  Hopefully, you - whoever you may become - will read these and follow some advice, if you can call that.  If you do one thing, watch this movie.  Or any Woody Allen.  They’re all on a flash drive, one of the bigger ones, marked “Film #9.”

Drawer on the left.  Under the bible spines.

More planes today again.  Also, talks of random searches.  If you’ve been reading this far, you’ll remember we had them a few months back.  Do they ever catch anyone?  Who’s searching the searchers?

Okay day.  Never look down.


12 Aug 2021

Today, I thought only of your mother.

There hasn’t been this many planes in the sky since the day they took her away.

She was a beautiful woman.  The kind of woman who, had we aligned in a more parallel way on the spectrum of time, I would have asked out for dinner.  Maybe a movie.

It’s funny - the kind of funny that doesn’t make you laugh - that stuff like dinner and a movie was ever not a beautiful luxury.

As stated several times, I have been residing on a hoarded collection of canned beans, dry rice, and powdered milk for months now.

Again, more planes today.  

Bad day.  But never look down.


11 Sep 2021

While masturbating this morning, I thought about this toy remote control car I used to have.  Big mud tires (I guess) with, of course, that distinctly high-pitched “engine” noise.  My favorite thing was to make it go beneath actual cars, barely making it out.  One day, the battery died and I threw it away.

I think I’m going to go outside today.

If this is the last letter I am able to write, then just know that I really appreciate you reading all of these.  Or any of these.

Please do find the Film #9 drive (drawer on the left, under the bible spines).  And enjoy it.  Share it.

Great day.  Look up.

Posted 10/31/14
The following was discovered in the basement of an apartment complex in Manhattan, NY in the wake of The Uprising. As both print and digital journalism slowly build their way back into the American consciousness (following years of federal interference), we feel it is important to publish important historical documents such as these, in the hopes that actual heroes like xx might continue to inspire us all to live a life untethered.
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