because you worried what your family would think
because you worried what the guy in the cubicle next to you on Monday would say
because you read a book once that said you shouldn’t do that unless you wanted to do this (you don’t want to do this)
because you watched the news one morning in 1996 and the talking head said to think about your future
because that future is now and you never thought about it but you feel the same and you wonder if that’s something you’ll have to consciously maintain
because you worry how your stomach might look when you sit down
because that girl who parks next to you in the lot just might ask a question and you know you’ll never have an answer
for anything
because that voice that nags and begs and claws the backs of your eyes
that’s you
and you’re barely alive
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